Half asleep and falling, is how I’ve lived my life
Delusions replace reality, with satisfying substitutes
Bare-minimums and second-bests to the rescue
Gravity surrenders, to parachutes of makeshift truths
Who can choose to know the moment he fell asleep
My judgmental eyes tell everyone’s story but mine
The incomplete reflection, the adulterated mirror image
The absorbed-light-imperfection, fails them every time
But the shell cracks every now and then, letting in the extraterrestrial, vulnerabilities visible
You’ve traded your sanities for peace, the curious hormones shout, your world is on the other side
But I’m spinning; I’ll collapse if I discontinue, my excuse to go on, but, sensation lifts the curtain
And I face my smiling façade, my eyes, conditioned to overlook vulgarity, my inside now, out in the open
But then,
I accept I was in denial, and suddenly, fresh walls surround again
Delusions replace reality, with satisfying substitutes
Bare-minimums and second-bests to the rescue
Gravity surrenders, to parachutes of makeshift truths
I laugh after the scare is over, like the fear was unreal
I carve reality to fit my laws, like the world was ideal
There’s lightning, then there’s thunder, but I shut my eyes, I seal my ears,
For the silent seconds of hope amid, whisper,
The only voice I’ve learnt to hear, the storm is not near
And then I write, to let go, the need needs to be fed
Words help me relapse, to my temporary defense
I disown my darkness again, consciously subconscious
Half asleep and falling, in denial-acceptance